Not So Different
by MoonStone18
Summary: All that goes on inside Harry's head is hidden in the pages of a diary. When it falls into the hands of Draco Malfoy, will he realize that the two of them are not so different or will their enemity continue? Post OotP. No drarry.
1. pangs of guilt

"Lost again, didn't you?" said Fred, looking at Harry's broken chess pieces with amusement. George grinned beside him. "Glad to see there's something ickle ronniekins is actually good at."

"Don't call me that!" said Ron indignantly. Harry just grinned and gathered up the remains of his chess players. "All right guys" Harry yawned , "I'm gonna call it a night." Ron turned to look at him incredulously. "But it's just eight!"

"You can stay up if you want, Ron. I'm dead tired after that quidditch practice." Harry headed up the stairs to the boys dormitory. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Ron starting a game of exploding snap with the twins.

"It's been a very long day" he thought, as he changed and flopped down on his bed, stretching out his aching limbs. He put a hand under the mattress and pulled out a thick, leather bound diary and began to write.

* * *

The weather was cool, up on the astronomy tower. The pale moonlight cast shadows all over the grounds. A gust of wind blew through his hair, easing away some of the frustration. He wished he knew someone who could help him. But even if he did, what good would it be? He wouldn't ask anyone for help, thanks to his damned pride. He knew he couldn't escape this. "I am doomed" he thought to himself. Suddenly, the weather didn't look so beautiful anymore.

* * *

_Today might have been quite good, if it wasn't for Malfoy and his snide comments. You'd have thought I'd be used to it by now. But it still hurts when he so casually brings up his favorite topic - my lack of parents. Sometimes, I try to imagine what my life would've been, had they still been alive… it would be much better than it is now, anyway. I'd have a real home to go to. Sirius would've been there with us_

* * *

He stopped writing abruptly, lifting up his quill. " All my fault" he thought, "If only I hadn't been stupid enough to fall for Voldemort's tricks, Sirius would still be here." An angry voice in his head whispered maliciously, "Look at what you did, Harry. You are the reason your godfather is dead."

"Yes, I'm the reason." Harry whispered to himself. He stared numbly as a drop of ink fell from his quill and spider webbed across the parchment.

Thinking of Sirius brought back painful memories. Harry shut his diary, stuffed it back under the mattress and dug out the invisibility cloak from his trunk. Wrapping the cloak around himself, he set off to the astronomy tower, hoping for some relief from the accusing voices in his head.

* * *

The castle was deathly quiet; all its inhabitants fast asleep. As he climbed the steps, he took a deep breath, silently willing the chilly air to ease away the pangs of guilt. He reached the top and standing in the doorway, he pulled off his cloak.

Just then he saw a movement in the shadows and cautiously, he drew out his wand. As he moved forward a couple of steps, a tall, blonde boy emerged from the shadows; his grey eyes resembling the stormy grey sky behind him. "Malfoy" Harry lowered his wand. "What're you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same, Potter. What's the matter? Couldn't fall asleep? Miss your mum's lullabies, do you?" sneered Malfoy.

"Shut your trap, Malfoy, before I decide to do it for you.", replied Harry.

"Save your breath, Potter, and move away from the door. I don't suppose you're blocking the way just to have a pleasant midnight chit-chat over here, are you?" And he shoved past Harry, the echoes of his footsteps slowly fading away.


	2. being civil

CHAPTER TWO

Harry awoke when the first rays of the sun touched the top of the astronomy tower. He straightened his glasses and stood up, groaning at the crick in his neck. Looking around, he realized he had fallen asleep while he was sitting on the floor of the tower last night. He picked up his wand and cloak and headed back to the dorm before anyone else got up.

* * *

" Where were you last night? I thought u were with Ron." Hermione inquired , seating herself opposite Harry and Ron for breakfast. " And I thought you said you were going to bed early?" Ron said, in an accusatory tone. " Oh, I just went for a midnight stroll on the astronomy tower.", explained Harry, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice. " And you were already snoring on the couch when I was going, Ron, so of course, you wouldn't know." Harry picked up a knife and started buttering his toast. "Well, anyway, guess who I bumped into last night?" Both Ron and Hermione looked up from their food as Harry pointed with his knife towards the Slytherin table. "Malfoy" he said. Hermione turned around to see Malfoy quietly tossing the breakfast around in his plate. She turned back to Harry, "Don't you think he's a bit too quiet nowadays? I mean, I don't see him bossing around all the time like he used to. I think there's something wrong with him." Harry raised his eyebrows, " More like he's up to something. Maybe he's not bullying first years anymore, Hermione; that doesn't mean he's become a saint. He sure has the time to take a dig at us whenever he's around." Ron sniggered beside him and said through a mouthful of potatoes, " I would personally love to see the day Malfoy turns into a saint."

"Well, I'll see you two later.", said Hermione as she got up. " I've got to go –" "To the library", Harry and Ron said together, and started laughing. Hermione huffed and walked off, heaving her bag on her shoulder.

* * *

She went to a table at the far end of the library, hidden behind a big bookshelf and dropped her heavy bag on the chair. Taking out a scroll of parchment and a quill, she thumbed through a thick book, trying to find a reference for the essay she was completing for ancient runes. All of a sudden something crossed by her desk, knocking her inkpot over. She gasped out loud as the ink started spreading and picked up the sodden parchment which had just been an almost complete 6 foot essay. "Oh god, it's ruined! I was just about to finish it. Who the hell-" She whirled around and stopped mid-sentence. It was Malfoy, staring at her blotched essay.

"Sorry", he mumbled. "I guess it got knocked over by my bag."

"What did you just say?" Hermione asked, in a thoroughly shocked voice. He was speaking so quietly that she could barely make out the words, but even then, there was no mistaking the fact that Draco Malfoy had just apologized to her.

"I said it got knocked over by my bag." , replied Malfoy, looking at her as if she was a retard. Hermione was still too surprised to reply, instead she just stared at him. He quickly looked away and pulling the parchment toward himself, began siphoning off the ink with his wand. After a few seconds he said, " There. As good as new" and put the scroll back on the table, turning to go. That seemed to bring Hermione out of her reverie. "Malfoy! " she called out. He turned to look at her and raised an eyebrow, "What do you want now, Granger?"

" I… I was just…Well..thanks" she stuttered. He looked at her, for a second too long perhaps, then abruptly turned and walked out of the library.

"Well, that was the weirdest thing that ever happened" she thought.

* * *

"Malfoy being civil? Are you kidding me?" said Ron. "Yeah, he's right. If Malfoy turns into a sweet, helping-everyone-out teenager, then next thing you know, Voldy and I will be singing carols together" laughed Harry.

"You both think it's a joke? I told you just this morning that something's wrong with Malfoy. And look, there's proof now." Hermione replied in a serious voice.

"Look, even if there is something wrong with him, why should that be a matter of concern for us?" said Ron, "We're not his fairy godmothers".

* * *

_I know I shouldn't be up this late; it's almost three in the morning. But there's no way I can make the nightmares go away. Every night, I'm forced to watch Cedric get murdered, Sirius falling through the veil, the attack on Mr. Weasley, all that blood. It makes me sick to my stomach.i wish I was just a normal boy. I don't want to be The Boy Who Lived. I'd rather have died with my parents that night. All these expectations that people have from me; I'm not sure I can live up to them._

_If removing that mark from my forehead would give me a normal life, I would gladly cut it out. But that's not gonna happen now, is it? I can't ever have the life I want._


	3. nicking stuff

Disclaimer: I just realized I hadn't put it up for the previous two chappies, so here goes! I'm not fortunate enough to own Harry Potter. :/ I'm just here putting down the insane workings of my mind onto paper..perhaps on screen :p

* * *

chapter 3

When he woke up in the morning, the first thing that came into his mind was the image of those chocolate brown eyes staring at him in surprise. He shook his head and got up. "Let's get ready for another miserable day of my life.", he thought shrewdly. If only he didn't have the 'malfoy' behind his name, he wouldn't be in this situation. He would have had a proper, normal life just like everyone else; his parents would put his well-being above everything else. If he were normal, his parents wouldn't force him into a life of torture, murder and misery. But he wasn't normal now, was he? He laughed manically at his own thoughts. No, he was the son of a death eater and that's what he had become.

* * *

"Harry!" , Hermione called out from the common room. "Aren't you coming down? It's time for breakfast already!". Inside the dorm, Harry groaned mentally. Whenever he sat down to write in his diary, someone or the other would pop up. He was just about to close it when he heard the thudding of footsteps on the stairs. Looking around hastily, , he stuffed the diary into the first thing within reach – his school bag. Just as he had put it inside as the dormitory door flew open to reveal a very disgruntled looking Ron. "Hermione's gonna have my head for her breakfast if I don't get you down this instant. Looks like she's in a hurry to get off to the library."

Ron looked around, as if trying to figure out what Harry was upto. "Whatever's taking you so long, anyway?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing.", Harry replied, getting up quickly , picking his bag. "I was just getting ready, that's all."

Harry smiled innocently. Ron gave him a weird look but continued with his talking as they walked to the great hall.

After some time, Harry tuned him out and kept nodding occasionally just to show that he was listening; he was searching the Slytherin table for any sign of Malfoy, but he was nowhere to be seen. Crabbe and Goyle were already there, stuffing themselves up with the food.

Even though he'd laughed it off when Hermione said there was something wrong with him, but he had an inkling that she was right. Maybe, his suspicions of Malfoy being a death eater were correct, after all. But then, Malfoy would've been all the more bossy over his friends, not brooding around. His changed behavior was too hard to explain.

Harry's chain of thoughts was abruptly broken by hermione's shrill voice as they reached their table, "Finally, I thought you were planning on being hole up in there all day. I am starving. Honestly, I don't know why I even bother to wait for you two to get ready." Ron looked up, " Oi! What did I do? He was the one taking ages to get ready!", he pointed accusingly at Harry. But Harry had his head turned toward the door. He saw Malfoy walk into the great hall and move to the slytherin table. He saw Harry looking at him, but without a single snide remark, he went and took his seat at the table.. this further disturbed Harry. The little changes that he could see; only because he had so often before seen Malfoy strutting about the castle with his head held high, as if he owned the place; the constant look of superiority on his face, it was all gone.

"Not you too!" Ron spoke, looking bewildered, "first Hermione and now you! Honestly, why the bloody hell is everyone obsessing over Malfoy?"

Hermione turned to follow Harry's line of vision. "Finally caught on to what I was saying, have you?", she smirked.

"That's not the point. I don't think 'there's something wrong with him', like _you _do; _I _personally think that _he's _upto something wrong." ,said Harry, gulping down large spoonfuls of tomato soup.

"Looks like its not just you who was starving Hermione", laughed Ron as he saw Harry shoveling down his food. Grabbing a tissue and wiping his mouth, Harry got up. "I had totally forgotten. I was supposed to put up the dates for the Quidditch trials on the notice board two days ago. Mcgonagall's gonna have my head!" . And he rushed out, heading back to the common room. As he ran down the corridor, he bumped hard into someone and both of them fell over. Harry's bag slipped from his shoulder, scattering books and quills everywhere. He stood up, rubbing his elbows and came face to face with a very pissed off Draco Malfoy.

"What the hell, Potter! It seems one pair of glasses is not quite enough to give you proper eyesight. Maybe you should put on two more. That'll help you watch where you're going!"

"Maybe _you _should stop strutting about the place and watch where _you're _going. Look at what you've done now!" said Harry furiously.

He started gathering up his books and putting them back into his bag. Looking to the side, he saw Malfoy gathering up a bundle of parchments which had fallen from the book he was carrying. Malfoy looked panicked, as if he wanted to grab those papers and walk off as fast as he could. Harry bent back to retrieve his bag and along with that, he picked up the nearest parchment he could reach inconspicuously. Shoving everything inside his bag, he turned and walked off briskly to the common room. He had barely five minutes before classes began; not enough time to take a look at what the parchment was. So he hid it in his trunk and hurried to the charms class.

* * *

"So you mean to say he was trying to hide those papers from you?" Ron whispered.

"Not exactly", Harry whispered back. "But I have a feeling he didn't want me to see what they were."

They were sitting at the back of the charms class, talking in hushed voices because Hermione point blank refused to participate in a conversation whenever Harry cast _Muffliato_ around them.

"And did you see what was written in the parchment that you picked up?", asked Hermione.

"I already told you, there wasn't enough time" harry said impatiently. "All right, we'll check it in the next free period we have", said Ron.

"Yeah", Harry replied enthusiastically, feeling quite sure he had found something to prove that Malfoy was a death eater. Now he just had to wait another three hours to find out.

Harry was getting more and more impatient as the minutes ticked by. They were sitting in Potions and another half hour was still left before the break. He jumped in his seat, startled, as a paper plane floated into his hand beneath his desk. He picked it up and smoothed out the folds.

It read:

_If you so much as mention my parchment to anyone, then be assured that your entire sappy diary will be read out in front of the whole school. If you want it back, then meet me this weekend in the Hog's Head. And don't forget to bring my parchment along. _

_p.s. I hope you have the common sense not to bring the mudblood and weasel with you._

Harry crumpled the piece of paper in his fist. Shoving it angrily into his pocket, he looked around the classroom. He already knew that Malfoy had sent the note, but right now, he was sitting so calmly as though nothing had happened. He turned back and checked in his school bag. Indeed, his diary was missing. Looks like he wasn't the only one to nick someone's stuff today.

Draco turned around as soon as he felt Harry's eyes leave him. He turned and saw him frantically searching in his bag. "Looking for his diary, the idiot, " he thought, "Even though I haven't read it yet, I can bet anything it would be sappy. That'll be interesting, now. Finding out what goes on in the Chosen One's brain."

He chuckled to himself. For the first time in so many months, he was actually looking forward to something.


	4. so different yet so similar

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.. :/

* * *

chapter 4

The slytherin dormitories were cool, even in the hot weather, as they were in the dungeons. Draco was grateful that the dorm was empty. Everybody was outside enjoying the rare sunny weather. He pulled out the leather diary from his bag, opened it up at a random page and started reading :

_I'm so glad that all of this is not just a dream. Hogwarts is real! And I'm a wizard! And Hagrid wasn't a hoax sent by uncle Vernon to get rid of me. That is the biggest relief. I will be staying away from them for the whole year, except summers. I wish I didn't have to go back at all. I already know what'll happen- all the chores, the punishments, no meals….all of uncle Vernon's beating._

Draco's mind went into a sudden flashback as he saw himself, just a seven year old kid, get beaten up by his father. That used to happen often. Whenever Lucius Malfoy got frustrated or angry, he vented it out on his son. Draco shook his head to get rid of the memory and continued reading.

_But I'm glad its only for a couple of months. Then I'll be back home – at Hogwarts. I've even got friends here. Ron is really nice. And there's a bushy-haired girl always accompanying us. Her name's Hermione and she studies too much. But she's good too. _

Draco had always assumed that Potter was pampered like a prince, a very arrogant prince. He couldn't have ever imagined that his life was so miserable.

"Why am I feeling sorry for Potter?", he thought suddenly.

A tiny voice in his head spoke, "That's because you've been through the same and you know how bad it feels."

He ignored it and randomnly opened another entry.

_Ron, Fred and George rescued me from Privet Drive in a flying car! I'm at Ron's home now – The Burrow. And it's the most fabulous place I've ever seen. There's none of Aunt Petunia's ridiculous cleanliness. It's cluttered but in a very cosy way. This is what a real family is like. Its so good. Everyone loves each other so much. And even though I'm really happy here, it makes me wonder so much about what it would have felt like to spend time with my family. I wonder if we had any other relatives. But I guess I'll never know._

Draco thought bitterly about his home. Even though he had a family, they never behaved like one.

"A dysfunctional family", he scoffed to himself.

He shut the diary quickly as he heard voices outside the door. It was Crabbe and Goyle.

"Where have you been all this time, Draco?" asked Goyle.

"That's none of your business, is it?" sneered Malfoy.

"Fine. I just asked. There's no need to get worked up about it" replied Goyle.

The two of them turned and walked out. Draco heard Crabbe muttering, "He's always in a rotten mood, nowadays."

He flipped open the diary again. This time it fell open at a page with a photograph in it. A picture of James and Lily Potter with a baby Harry, waving his tiny fists at the camera.

"So they are Potter's parents".

On lifting the picture, he saw an entry on the page below.

_The only reminder of mum and dad. The biggest comfort from seeing this picture is knowing that atleast my parents did love me._

_Why did it have to be me? Of all the billions of people in this bloody world, why me? Why did I have to lose my parents, my home, my childhood, a normal life, why me?_

_I don't want __any __of this stupid life of mine. I don't want that bloody scar on my head, I don't wanna be the boy who lived, the savior of the wizarding world or whatever fancy names they've given me. All I want is a normal life. Too much to ask for, is it?_

"Oh my, looks like Potter was pretty frustrated," he turned a few pages and all of a sudden, the word Death Eater jumped out at him. His breath caught in his throat as he started reading.

_I've been trying to get Ron and Hermione to agree that Malfoy is a death eater, but they just won't budge. Hermione reckons they won't recruit someone so young. As for me, I'm pretty sure of it. I know that Malfoy was threatening Borgin with his mark. And he had reacted when madam malkin was trying to put pins on his left sleeve. I think he has replaced his father, to pay for his mistake of not retrieving the prophecy. Ron says I don't have any proof of it. Maybe I could just tell Dumbledore to have a look at his hand. Then again, maybe Dumbledore knows this already. There's hardly anything he doesn't know. But sometimes I think, no matter how rude or arrogant Malfoy is, he's not a murderer. A 16 year old can't have willingly become a death eater. Maybe he was forced to do it, perhaps even threatened. That would be just like Voldemort, threatening people to get them to follow him. If that's the case, then Malfoy should have told Dumbledore everything. Dumbledore would have kept him safe. I can't imagine how miserable he must be. Or maybe I'm just over thinking. Maybe he really is a git._

Draco turned the diary upside down and put his head in his hands.

"So Potter knows. And now he has the proof". He was stuck.

He had threatened Harry that he would read out his diary to the school but he couldn't do that. And now Harry could very well handover the parchment to Dumbledore.

"No, he wouldn't do that. He would atleast talk to me first. He wouldn't be so inconsiderate, would he?" he thought frantically.

The voice in his head whispered evilly, "You never showed him any consideration while taunting him. Now you expect him to be good to you?"

He continued reading other entries of the diary. By the time he was done, a couple of hours had already passed.

He wiped the sweat from his face and began pacing the room.

All the things he had read in the diary were too much to cope with at once. But one thing he did understand and he was very sure about it. The two of them were not so different at all. There were so many similarities. Thinking about all this sent his brain reeling but he couldn't deny it.

Both of them were living a life they didn't want, a life full of expectations that they couldn't hope to fulfill; both of them trying to live up to a name. oth unloved, both frustrated, both helpless; without a proper family, going through things that should never be faced by someone their age.

It was all too much to take in. Potter and him? How could they ever be similar in any way? But the answers were right in front of him.

"Maybe Potter would help me out if I hadn't been such a troll to him all the time. And now I'm realizing…I made an enemy out of the one person who would probably have understood my struggle", he thought bitterly.

Normally, Draco wouldn't have thought of seeking help from anyone, least of all Harry. But these were desperate times. He had already been given the task of getting rid of Dumbledore. He didn't want to be a murderer. The mere thought of killing someone made him feel sick.

"Now there's nothing to do except wait for the weekend and see if Potter turns up to get back his diary…which he probably won't." Draco muttered to himself.

It was already getting dark and he had no wish to go down to dinner and face Potter. Putting the diary inside his drawer, he stretched out on the bed, slowly falling into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Harry looked around every five minutes to check whether Malfoy had shown up for dinner. As he had expected, Malfoy was nowhere to be seen.

He had gone up to the dormitory during break to find out what the parchment was. It wasn't just a parchment really, it was a letter to Malfoy from his father. Reading the letter, Harry had suppressed an involuntary shudder. How could a father be so cruel to his son?

_You better be doing something about the task you've been assigned by our master. And if you fail at it, don't dare come back to show me your filthy coward face. You'll be as good as dead for me._

A wave of anger swept over Harry.

"No wonder Malfoy has changed so much" he thought.

Harry already knew that Malfoy would soon realize that his threat to Harry had been empty. He couldn't read out the diary as it mentioned him being a death eater. And Harry now had the proof – Lucius Malfoy's letter.

Now he was debating on whether he would show up at the Hog's Head or not. There really wasn't any need to.

"I am thinking of buying a few smart-answer quills from Hogsmeade, tomorrow…you think they'd actually work?, said Ron.

"Uh..I..yeah, it's great Ron" Harry replied. He hadn't exactly heard what Ron had said, but judging by the satisfied smile on his face, Harry's response had been adequate.

They had their Hogsmeade trip the next day. Harry had decided not to tell Ron and Hermione about Malfoy's parchment. Atleast not until he had confronted Malfoy.

The letter proved two of his theories at once : first, that Malfoy was indeed a death eater, and second, he had definitely been forced to become one.

Now he just wanted to see what Malfoy had to say about it.

* * *

A/N: so, tell me how the chapter was..should i continue with the story or is it actually as boring as i think..?


	5. discussions

Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Chapter 5

" Do you ever eat anything at all?" asked Crabbe, through his mouthful of eggs. "As far as I can remember, you hadn't come down for dinner yesterday."

Draco turned his head to look at Crabbe. His stomach twisted uncomfortably at the sight of Crabbe gobbling down the food.

"No, I don't think I could ever get as pathetically hungry as you" he replied and turned away.

His gaze searched the hall and landed on the bushy brown head. She was laughing at something and Draco couldn't help but notice how that smile lit up her eyes. He observed her while she talked to Potter and Weasley. A few moments passed when she suddenly turned and looked directly at him, causing him to look away hastily. It was then that he realized he had been staring at Hermione for quite a long time.

"What in the name of Merlin is wrong with me?", he thought, shaking his head.

* * *

A few hours later, all students were lined up outside, getting themselves jabbed by Filch's secrecy sensors. As the crowd dispersed lazily, Draco spotted Harry walking off with Ron and Hermione.

He wondered if Harry had already told someone about him being a death eater. The thought gave him a panic attack. He slowly breathed in and out and walked off toward Hogsmeade.

The Three Broomsticks was crowded as usual and Harry, Ron and Hermione made their way over to the only empty table in the , Harry was still debating whether to meet Malfoy or not.

"How long do you think you'll keep avoiding Slughorn's parties, Harry?" Hermione inquired.

Harry grinned, "As long as humanly possible. They're a menace, honestly!"

Is that so? I thought you both loved your little 'Slug Club'.", Ron grimaced.

"There's no need to be sarcastic, Ron. You know very well that none of us enjoy it" replied Hermione.

"Well, I'll just go order the drinks then" said Ron, getting up from his chair.

Harry looked out of the glass window, across Ron's empty seat and for a moment, he thought he saw a flash of blonde hair whip around the corner.

He hastily got up from his seat, almost forgetting that he was not alone.

"Where are you going now? " asked Hermione.

"Uh…I just remembered…um …..I had to..uh, yeah, I just remembered that I need to get a birthday present for Ron. Better do it when he's not around, I guess" Harry managed a crude smile. "I'll be right back."

He zipped up his jacket and called over his shoulder, "Keep him here, all right?"

"Sure" was Hermione's faint reply. "I wonder what's with him. He's always hurrying about everywhere."

* * *

The streets of Hogsmeade were silent and empty, dotted only with the few people rushing into shops to escape the sudden snowfall.

Harry strode quickly, his footsteps muffled by the fresh snow. He turned a corner and walked inside The Hog's Head. It was, just as Harry had expected, completely empty, except for the table in the corner.

Draco was sitting alone, staring out of the window at the soft snow spreading its white carpet on the street outside.

"Malfoy."

The sudden voice right behind him jolted him out of his daydreaming. Turning around in his chair, he saw Harry standing behind him, hands in his pockets and hair full of snowflakes.

"Po…Harry….have a seat" Draco said, absently noticing how alien the name sounded coming from him.

Harry raised one eyebrow and sat down on the opposite chair.

"Since when did I change from Potter to Harry?" he inquired, a frown on his face.

"We're not here to discuss names, are we? I suppose you're here to retrieve your diary" said Draco.

He was feeling relieved, in a way, that harry had come. He figured it meant that he hadn't told anyone about Draco being a death eater.

"Yes, I'm here for my diary. That….and for a little chat about your parchment."

Haryy had never thought he would actually someday be sitting with Malfoy in a pub, without both of them trying to kill each other.

"Life's becoming weirder day by day.." he thought to himself.

When Draco did not reply for a few moments, Harry decided to simplify matters.

"Let's cut it short. Did you join them on your own or were you forced to do so?" he asked.

At this, Draco turned his head away from the window and looked at Harry.

"You've already read that letter from my dear father, haven't you? Is there still any need to ask that?" he replied wearily.

They both stared out of the window for a while, lost in their own thoughts. The snowfall had now developed into a full blown storm.

"Why didn't you tell Dumbledore about it?" Harry spoke, breaking the silence.

"Well, well, I always knew you were intelligent, Potter" Draco sneered. "That would've been a really pleasant conversation. 'Hey Dumbledore, I'm supposed to murder you. Think you could help me out with it?" Malfoy let out a hysterical laugh.

After seeing the horrified look on Harry's face, he realized all of a sudden that he had let slip too much.

He could hear the loud beating of his panicked heart. Any moment now, he assumed, Harry would get up and run off to Dumbledore.

After several long minutes of no reaction from Harry, Draco realized that wasn't going to happen. He watched, as a variety of conflicting emotions raced across Harry's face.

Finally, Harry shook his head a little and laughed. "No…that wouldn't be a very pleasant conversation, I suppose"

Draco breathed a sigh of relief. Every passing moment revealed to him new sides of Harry, and somehow he came to understand that Harry was not at all the kind of person he had thought him to be all these years. He wasn't arrogant. He wasn't selfish. If he had been, then he wouldn't be sitting here trying to help him out.

"So, let's get down to business" Harry said, suddenly very serious. "I am guessing that you do not want to continue as a death eater, is that right?" Draco bit his tongue to stop himself from throwing out his usual sarcasm, and simply nodded.

"So, I suggest you talk to Dumbledore about this. "

"And I'm not joking." He added, at the ridiculous look on Malfoy's face. "He will be able to keep you safe from the rest of them and get you out of this mess." Harry continued.

"If you actually think you can hide from death eaters, then you're even more stupid than I thought" Malfoy scoffed, unable to control himself.

"You're such a git, Malfoy" Harry scowled. "Do you even want to be helped out or not?"

"What else do you think I'm sitting here for? , said Draco furiously.

"Well, then you better stop trashing out every idea of mine, seeing as you don't seem to have any at all!"

"All right" Malfoy smirked.

"Yeah, and I almost forgot…give me back my diary, ferret" said Harry.

"Don't you dare call me that, Potter! My father-"

"will _not_ hear about this, Malfoy" Harry laughed out loud. "I guess you'll have to get rid of that habit now."

* * *

A/N : i know i've updated after a long time...had a lot of stuff going on at once. well, this chapter was short...hopefully the next will be longer. i need your opinion people- should i have dramione or romione in this story? or maybe nothing of that sort at all? what do you guys think?


	6. Draco's decision

Disclaimer : I only own the plot. :)

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Chapter 6

"_I wonder if I should tell Ron and Hermione about Malfoy._

_ Hermione might understand, I'm sure she will, but the problem is Ron….I don't think he'll ever actually believe that Malfoy has turned over a new leaf. _

_The thing is… how can I expect Ron to believe it when I have trouble believing it myself. After all those years of considering him an enemy, its difficult now to think of him as….what exactly do I think of him now? What is he? A friend..? Ally…? I don't know what….maybe I'll just think of him as someone who's on our side of the war. Yeah, that's better I suppose. Considering him a friend sounds alien, ridiculous, even in my mind. _

_Of course, Malfoy hasn't done much to make it easy for us to consider him a friend. All these years, he had made a hobby of insulting the three of us. Why does he have to make everything so difficult?"_

Harry shut his diary with a loud snap, irritation taking over. He was tired of the internal debate going on in his head since the Hogsmeade trip.

Had he been right in offering help to Malfoy or was it just plain stupidity? He sighed to himself and got up from his bed. Stuffing the diary back under his mattress, he decided to wake Ron. It was already time for breakfast.

* * *

The sun shone brightly through the window panes of the library. It was quiet. Naturally, no one would think of spending the only free period of the day inside the library. That proved to be good for Harry as no one would eavesdrop on his conversation with Hermione. Harry was sitting on top of a table narrating his meeting with Malfoy while Hermione sifted through the pages of a thick potions book.

"So, what do you think?", asked Harry, when he was over with his narration.

"Well, I was right, wasn't I? Hermione replied, with a smug look on her face. "I had told you there was something going on with him. Still, I find it difficult to believe that he's changed so suddenly."

"Exactly. That's what is troubling me. What if all this is a trap to get information to the Death eaters? What if Malfoy is just pretending?" said Harry, finally getting to the point.

"It might be, but we can't be sure. There might be a chance that he's being truthful this once." Hermione replied.

"Come off it, Hermione. Look at Malfoy's family. They completely adore Voldemort. Give me one reason why Malfoy would be any different?" Harry said, as he got off the table and started pacing the length of the room.

"I know Malfoy is a great bullying snob, but still, he does that to kids. Do you think he would have the guts to actually torture or kill a person? He's our age, after all, Harry. Would we ever do it?" Hermione reasoned.

"No, I don't think he would actually kill-"

Harry broke off as a grey owl flew up to the window and tapped on the pane. Harry moved to open the window and let the owl in. It landed on the spot Harry had vacated just moments ago and stuck out its leg. Hermione moved to detach the letter tied to it.

She turned the envelope around and said, "It's for you, Harry."

"Wonder whose owl it is.." Harry muttered as he moved to take the letter. His name was written in a neat, elegant handwriting. He opened it. The note within was very brief.

_Potter_

_I thought about your stupid idea and I reckon, since there's no other way, I'll be talking to Dumbledore tonight at eight. You could come along. Meet me at the Astronomy tower at quarter to eight._

_D.M_

"He just loves ordering people around, doesn't he? "said Hermione.

"Not his fault probably. Maybe no one ever taught him how to request somebody to come along." Harry laughed.

He tore out a bit of parchment from Hermione's scroll and scribbled a reply, tying it to the owl's leg. It took off immediately.

"Have you told Ron about this?", asked Hermione suddenly.

"About what?", muttered Harry, absently staring out of the window at the owl which was now just a distant speck in the sky.

Hermione huffed impatiently. "About Malfoy, of course!"

When Harry didn't reply, she strode over to him and waved her hand energetically in front of his face.

"Earth to Harry! Are you even listening?"

"Yeah…yeah, I was just thinking..what Dumbledore might do.." he said, returning back to his spot on the table. "As for Ron, I couldn't find him anywhere. Dean said he'd seen him leave the common room an hour ago with-" Harry broke off abruptly.

"with Lavender Brown, " Hermione finished, with an irritated look on her face.

"I saw them leave. And why were you trying to hide that from me?" She fixed a stern gaze on Harry, who was now opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water.

"Well…it's just that.." he looked around the library, trying to decide whether he was supposed to be having this conversation with Hermione or not.

"Out with it, Harry"

"Well, I was under the impression that there was something between you and Ron..so I guessed you'd be pretty pissed to hear about Lavender." Harry spoke very fast, trying to get it over with.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence during which Harry felt like he was a criminal on trial. He wondered why, though, …it wasn't as if he had done something wrong.

Finally, Hermione spoke, breaking the awful silence.

"I guess, there was something…at some point of time." She stared off into space with a calculating look on her face. " But really, Ron's just one of my best friends. I don't have any problem with him going out with anyone, though, I'd have thought he'd have a better choice than Lavender." Hermione smirked.

"Yeah, she's an idiot." Harry muttered, feeling very relieved.

Five minutes later, they left the library and walked up the stairs to the common room.

"So..when _are_ you planning on telling Ron?" Hermione asked.

Harry turned to look at her, which was pointless really, as she had her face hidden behind the mountain of books she had carried back from the library.

"I don't know. I wish I didn't have to be the one to tell him. He'd think I've gone barmy or something. Listen, why don't you tell him Hermione?" Harry said hopefully.

"No." Hermione replied strictly as they reached the portrait of the fat lady.

"Starshine", Hermione said and Harry followed her inside as the portrait door swung shut.

"I'll just deposit these in my room. Be right back."

Meanwhile, Harry dropped down on the couch, contemplating the best way to tell Ron without freaking him out. His brain ran through several scenarios, each of them ending with Ron trying to knock some sense into him. He strained to come up with a better way until a distraction arrived in the form of Ginny.

She spotted Harry as she climbed through the portrait door and walked over to him.

"Hey Harry" she said." What're you doing here? Class cancelled?"

Harry's mind, which had suddenly gone foggy, tried to come up with a coherent sentence.

"Erm, I was…er..waiting for Hermione to come down."

"Oh, I see, …yeah…there she is." Ginny smiled at Hermione who was coming down the stairs.

"Hi Ginny. You don't have classes?" Hermione asked.

"Damn, I totally forgot. I had come back to get my transfiguration essay. See you two later." She replied, hastening off to the girl's dorm.

"Come on Harry. We're going to be late for charms." Hermione said pointedly.

Harry turned to leave as he saw the redhead disappear into her dorm.

_Why did she have to be Ron's sister? _A particularly nasty voice in his head thought. Harry sighed and walked out.

* * *

It was a pleasant evening ; Harry strolled through the empty corridors, humming a tune under his breath.

He had just overheard Parvati and Lavender gossiping about Ginny's breakup with Dean. The news seemed to have put him in an extraordinarily good mood, which Hermione had obviously noticed.

Harry sighed. Nothing ever escaped her notice.

He ducked behind a suit of armor as Peeves approached from the other end of the corridor, his hands full of dungbombs, cackling to himself.

He waited till Peeves was out of sight then continued his walk up to the astronomy tower.

"Wonder what's put him in such good mood", thought Draco, as Harry appeared on the stairs.

"So, ready to go?" Harry asked.

Draco hesitated; he wasn't sure he wanted to go through with this, now that it was time.

"Yeah…I suppose…" he muttered.

Harry could see Malfoy was clearly nervous, but of course, he wasn't going to admit it, least of all to him. He wondered what he should say.

Finally, he just patted Draco awkwardly and said,

"Come on, let's go."

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A/N : Thanks for reading. :)


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